


Stuck

by lokilenchen



Series: Trektober 2020 [13]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Claustrophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Turbolift, shuttle crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26987287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokilenchen/pseuds/lokilenchen
Summary: A traumatic event in the past left Leonard not only with aviophobia but also claustrophobia.Being stuck in a turbolift leads to reliving past events and a panic attack, but Jim is there to help.Trektober Day 13 (Stuck in an Enclosed Space)
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: Trektober 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168697
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47
Collections: Trektober 2020





	Stuck

Leonard hadn’t always suffered from aviophobia or any other phobia, but on the contrary, as a kid he was excited for every chance he was allowed to fly in a shuttle. And with his father working at a Starfleet hospital that was very often the case, nearly each weekend he and his mother visited his father in San Francisco. 

It was one of the many occasions that Leonard and his mother should visit the Starfleet hospital, but on short notice his mother was asked to step in for one of her colleagues. Leonard, despite being only twelve, didn’t want to miss the little time he was able to spend with his father due to the distance between them in the moment.

Begging, he convinced his mother to let him go on his own, well not entirely on his own, Starfleet provided an officer to escort Leonard to San Francisco. 

That’s how he found himself the next morning strapped into the seat of the shuttle, already happy to get a chance to see his father again and to hopefully spend another few interesting hours in the hospital, learning new things about medicine.

The flight went normally with Leonard chatting along with every fellow traveler that was willing to talk to him up until the moment the shuttle started to shake and buckle, dropping and steadying itself again.

For what felt like a few seconds the shuttle was flying as it should before a red alert echoed through the small shuttle and then they were falling. Everyone was screaming, clutching at their seatbelts, while Leonard heard the pilot screaming something about engine failure over the roaring of the sirens. 

The shuttle crashed on the ground and everything went black.

Slowly coming to his senses, he heard screaming, the smell of fire and blood heavy in the air. He panicked, he had just been in a shuttle crash, his daddy had been right these things were death traps. 

Peaking an eye open, Leonard looked around the small space, there were two other people, the screaming one and the Starfleet officer who should make sure he arrived safely in San Francisco. 

On impact the shuttle must have crushed up in some way for there was no way it had been this small all the time or did it just feel like the walls were closing down on him, it didn’t matter.

The screaming person seemed fine, but from his seat Leonard could see the big gash on the thigh of the officer roughly where the femoral artery was, he would be bleeding to death if someone didn’t help him. Leonard’s father had taught him some about first aid and the basics about human anatomy, so he knew what he needed to do.

Fidgeting with his seatbelt he took the first look at himself, there were smaller cuts all over his body and a larger one on his right upper arm, in addition it seemed like his left forearm was broken, but all in all nothing too serious, nothing his father couldn’t fix.

After getting the seatbelt open he scrambled to his feet and got over to the officer on shaking legs. 

Leonard knelt down next to him, applying pressure with both his hands, not caring about his broken arm, trying to keep his panic at bay and hoping for somebody to come looking for them.

That’s how Leonard was found, still trying to keep the man from bleeding out, his own blood having turned his shirt a dark red, crying and on the edge of a panic attack, because the space around him felt incredibly small, like he couldn’t breath.

On that day twelve year old Leonard McCoy saved the life of his first patient, but he lost some of his own life essence. His aviophobia and his claustrophobia can be traced back to this day, to this crash.

It took years and one James Tiberius Kirk to get Leonard’s aviophobia somewhat under control, but he hadn’t told Jim about his claustrophobia and he didn’t plan on doing so. The kid had already taken enough baggage off of his shoulders during their time together.

His strategy was to simply avoid small spaces or if he really needed to step into a room that could trigger his phobia, he would list all the bones in the human body until he was out again. 

A fairly new method had become being kissed breathless by Jim. Many times Jim had pressed him against the wall of a turbolift and kissed him until all his fear was forgotten. This way turbolifts or other small spaces were usually no problem anymore.

Leonard and Jim were on their way to the bridge, he had just finished listing all the bones in his hand, because they couldn’t turn up on the bridge looking like they just had a make up session in there _again_ , when the turbolift came to a rapid stop.

A red light started flashing in the suddenly way too small room, Jim shot him a concerned look over his shoulder before stepping up to the comm panel on the wall. “What happened, Scotty?” 

It was the last thing he heard before the uneasiness turned into anxiety and the sounds around him turned into a ringing noise in his ears. 

The one moment Leonard was in the turbolift his knees giving out, sinking to the floor and the next moment he was back in the crashed shuttle, the smell of smoke and blood filling his nose, the screams of the man together with him in the shuttle resounding in his ears.

His fear was irrational, he knew that, knew that all these things happened a long time ago, knew he was still in the turbolift together with Jim, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t help the feeling of being trapped in the burning shuttle again. 

It was too much, Leonatd closed his eyes and the screams now mixed with another sound reaching his ears, it was someone calling his name, Jim was calling his name.

Opening his eyes again he looked right into Jim‘s baby blue eyes filled with worry and concern. Jim had his hands on either side of his face, rubbing away the tears that were streaming down his face. 

“Bones, what is it, are you alright?” Jim asked, worry laced into his voice.

No, Leonard was not alright, he was covered in cold sweat, shaking, his heart was racing and he breathed in irregular gasps, probably one step away from hyperventilating.

“Breath with me, Bones, just listen to my voice, in and out, in and out,” Jim said, voice calm, showing Leonard the way back to a normal breathing rhythm. 

Jim’s hands on his face, the warmth radiating from his body, his general presence were factors that kept Leonard in the real world. He took a few shaky breaths, trying to match his inhales and exhales with what Jim was saying.

With each breath he felt the tension and to some amounts the panic leaving his body. It wasn’t until then that he realized the turbolift had started moving again, not to their original destination, namely the bridge, but back to their quarters. 

“Don’t they need us on the bridge, Jim?” Leonard asked, his voice sounded small and foreign to his ears, more like a sob and not at all like his own voice. 

His look was downcast, not able to star in the blue and so understanding eyes of his boyfriend, Jim was the Captain, sure they needed him and Leonard was just a burden, preventing him from doing his job. 

“I can hear you thinking, Bones,” Jim cut in the spiral of negativity pulling him down again. “They don’t need us on the bridge, at least not at the moment, Spock has the conn and M’Benga is covering for you in the medbay. I’m here for you, my officers can cover my job as Captain of the Enterprise, but not take my place as your boyfriend, now come on I know a bed that has our names on it.”

Gently Leonard was pulled back on his feet and against Jim’s side. Having come to a halt, the doors to their deck opened and they stepped outside, Jim carrying most of Leonard’s weight. 

They walked the short distance to their quarters, with thankfully no other crew members passing by. In front of their door he keyed in the access code, revealing their living space.

Jim steered Leonard directly to their bed, sitting him down on it gently, before pulling off his boots and encouraging him to lay down. Feeling rather exhausted he let Jim manhandle him with no complaints.

As soon as he was laying he closed his eyes, only hearing Jim walking around the bed and feeling the mattress dip when he sat down. Moments later Jim was behind the brunette, sneaking his arms around his waist and pulling him against his chest. 

Jim wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t demanding an explanation, but in some way Leonard knew Jim expected one, he was trusting Leonard to tell him in his own time.

He turned around in Jim’s arms, wanting to look at the blonde haired, blue eyed man, who had helped him so much over the past years, who he was in love with and who he trusted with his very life, while telling him what triggered his panic attack.

Leonard opened his eyes, Jim’s glace helt his steady, encouraging him with his look of pure trust and love, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“When I was twelve,” Leonard started, a small nod from Jim told him he had his full attention, “I wanted to visit my father in San Francisco, he worked for Starfleet during this time, and me and my mother traveled to visit him every weekend, but that weekend my mother had to work, I still wanted to visit, so Starfleet provided an officer to watch me. The shuttle that flew to San Francisco crashed with me in it, it was torn apart on impact and in the half I was in only three survived. One of them was the officer, but he was unconscious and injured badly. I saved his life. They found me, keeping pressure on the big gash on the officers thigh, blood all over my clothes. I was injured myself, not as badly but still.” 

At that he touched the place on his upper arm where the scar was hidden under his uniform shirt. “The crash left me with aviophobia and claustrophobia, I can control it normally, but when the turbolift stopped I felt trapped, felt like I was trapped in the crashed shuttle.”

“Thank you for telling and trusting me. I‘m sorry you had to go through it and I can’t imagine how bad it must have been to step on a shuttle. If you want to, I'll try to help you with your claustrophobia, cause I want to have all your life quality back, but it's your decision. I’ll be here for you for whatever you decide, because I love you,” Jim said and all the trust and the never yielding love he could hear in Jim’s voice and see in his eyes moved Leonard to tears. 

“I love you too darlin’. And thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Well, that’s what boyfriends are for, especially an amazing one like me,” Jim answered, keeping his tone light. 

At the remark Leonard was unable to stop the smile from curving his lips. He cuddled nearer to Jim, tucked his head under Jim‘s chin and let out a grateful sigh, feeling rather sleepy after all the stress.

It wasn’t long after that they fell asleep tangled in one another.

It took some time and Jim’s help for Leonard to no longer fear a panic attack whenever he stepped into a small or enclosed space.


End file.
